24th October 2018, Stu Fenton

Beautifully Bisexual

Bisexuality is not like any other sexuality. But many straight, gay and lesbian people find it difficult to understand.

One of the main reasons for this is that straight, gay and lesbian sexuality divides humanity into two categories – two biological sexes, one that is attractive potentially to the individual, and one of which isn’t.

It is a binary view of the world in which sexuality itself is distinctly divided into a we and others, into us and them. For example, a straight man can feel safe and secure that he is heterosexual because his attractions to women set him safely apart from gay men. Similarly, a lesbian can derive clarity around her own sexuality and identity based upon her relationships with other women.

Bisexual people are the challenge to this dominant, binary view of the world and this can create confusion and fear. Whereas straight and gay/lesbian sexuality is defined by a boundary between two sexes, bisexuality transcends this boundary. Because bisexuality is not based upon an unalterable dividing line between two sexes, it therefore defies the very foundation of heterosexuality and homosexuality, and can confuse people who are not bi.

That doesn’t make bisexuality wrong. It just makes bisexuality different.

The location and set up of Resort 12 has created an interesting phenomenon that I have not encountered before working in mainstream treatment facilities and one that is extremely supportive of the bisexual experience. Just as gay men, lesbians and transgender people struggle to come out and embrace their sexuality fully for certain specific reasons, bisexual people encounter the same challenges sometimes for similar reasons and often for very different reasons.

Some of the most common reasons is the stigma and judgement people make. Some people believe there is no such thing as bisexuality others offend bisexual individuals by telling them it’s a phase. Some people believe that bisexuals are greedy or they cannot be trusted in relationships, they spread HIV and STIs or that they are afraid of commitment. These assumptions can make it difficult bisexual individual to want to come out and explore their full sexuality. There are also a large number of bisexual people especially men who fear that coming out will bring homophobic taunts upon them and again they act on their attraction to women but not men and this remains a mystery experience or a reason to feel shame or guilt unnecessarily.

As Resort 12 is an LGBT+ village amongst three other mainstream villages, the phenomena that has occurred is that sometimes people who have never explored this part of themselves have found the courage to talk about it in private one to one therapy which has led to them then seeking individual counselling and attending groups with the LGBT+ counsellors within the LGBT+ village.

In many cases, these people, often males, have after several days decided to transition completely into Resort 12. They don’t make the move to become gay or even to become bisexual, but do move because we offer a safe and secure environment within which they can explore their sexuality fully without fear of judgement, abuse or criticism. They decide what they will ultimately do when they know themselves and realise that their sexuality is unique, healthy and good.

Some bisexual identifying clients have identified this as an area to work on during the phone assessment phase of treatment. The has led to them selecting the Resort 12 LGBT+ village from the start and this issue becomes the main focus of their entire treatment. Many of these clients, who have been to Resort 12, say that discovering and exploring their bisexuality was the most important treatment objective for them overall.

Sadly though, even today stigma and fear still get in the way of people living their lives fully and embracing their sexuality to the full because of outdated beliefs and assumptions. But at Resort 12 you can find the means to not only explore and accept your sexuality but you can also learn how to strongly support yourself being bisexual and celebrate it as it should be celebrated.


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